I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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