Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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