So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
