ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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