My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Come on in and take your pants off
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