i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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