Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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