So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
