allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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