Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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