Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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