I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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