good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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