So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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