You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
