If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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