did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
