Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
