i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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