Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
