Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
