Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize