I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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