She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
