How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
