I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
