I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize