You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
