how can u be prego again
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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