i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
