Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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