I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
