She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
