i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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