i just had sex bonerless
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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