I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize