John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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