So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
