i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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