Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
