Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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