great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
