imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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