We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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