Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
