so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
