My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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