This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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