i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
