Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
