these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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