a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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