Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
