THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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