absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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