Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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