The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize