I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
