he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
