God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Its about making memories worth repressing
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
