Do you still have your period?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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