she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
