Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
