omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
