so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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